Tuesday, May 03, 2005
As I said previously, death tends to remain 20ft away from me. There are two other instances when death has crossed my path. The first was a long time ago, a few who lived in Alpharetta at the time may remember when they found a missing 20 year old woman dead and wrapped in plastic in the metro Alpharetta area. Well that area happened to be just up the stree from my house, in the woods next to Locos, for those of you who know where that is. To this day I remember exactly where she was. Though I wasn't the one who made the discovery, I did pass by a few times whilst exploring the woods with my neighborhood friends. I remember thinking that it was some old discarded mannequin. It was only a when one of my friends went back that he discovered hat it really was. When it hit the news is when I found out, and realized it. I never told anyone that I had been there or seen it, only the guys I was with knew. Thinking back on it though, I never came within 20ft of it, thats about the closest I had come. In another instance it was my own death that I came 20 ft from. I was in North Carolina with my best friend Nick. His parents had rented a boat and we were out on a lake there. I was in my early teens and I don't remember where the lake was or what it was called. What I do remember is that they took us to this waterfall, about a 30ft waterfall that dropped into a large pile of sticks in a cove on the lake. Nick and I went to explore the stream the waterfall was coming from. We had to climb up a prett steep hill/ cliff on the waters edge to get up. At the top we saw the stream was flowing down a groove in a huge flat rock before it fell off into the lake. The rock was probably about 100 to 150ft in diameter, and of course was mossy. The stream was about 6ft wide and a foot and a half deep, but it had enough force (combined with the slick mossy surface) to carry me down towards the falls when I slipped on a wet patch of moss.It carried me about 50ft closer to the falls, and would have dumped me over into a huge pile of rather sharp sticks 30ft below, had it not been for a rock hidden beneath the water that protruded and caught my leg. My life did actually flash before my eyes, at least part of it anyways. And of course that rock was located about 20ft from the edge of certain death. Kinda strange.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Everytime Death manages to cross my path it generally remains 20ft away. Today was one of those serous days of old. Back in high school there were those nights I couldn't sleep, and the following day, it always seemed like my mind was underwater, and time was a current flowing by. I staye dup all night last night studying for the math final I had today, and this morning whilst I was pumping gas into my car, death crossed my path again. This time it was guy, maybe a year or two older than me, who had been struck by a car. It took me a second to figure out what happened. There were police blocking the street, and I saw one damaged car and then noticed a small crowd of people gathered a little ways down the street. Though at first I couldn't see the guy, I realized what had happened upon a closer look at the damaged car. The windshield in front of the passenger side war smashed in, and the driver of the red mustang stood beside it, crying. I watched the crowd as I approached the window to pay for my gas and then I saw him. Laying face down on the road, in a small puddle of blood. By the expressions of the crowd, and the general sense of the air, I could tell his outlook was grim. I small part of me wanted to watch as they loaded him in the ambulance, but I guess a certain respect told me not to. I felt like at least half the people in the crowd were the Dane Cook idea of "Where's my shoes! Fuck it, I'm going out shoeless." I didn't want to be a spectator, I mean I don't think I'd like it if a crowd of people witnessed my death and went around campus telling all their friends "I saw this kid die today, yeah, he got hit by a car and flew like 30 ft and cracked his head open. It was bad."Incidentally, I would estimate the distance I was from him when I saw him was about 20 ft. away. I'll tell the other stories from 20 ft from death in my next post.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Hey everybody check out my new look! Is't it badass! That's right made it from scratch, took me like a 3 weeks. IT's still got some bugs that i gotta work out, but its about 90% done at the moment. As for the title, not sure if im going to keep it yet, just pulled it outta my ass. I gotta get other things working first
Thursday, April 29, 2004
Monday, March 01, 2004
Thursday, February 26, 2004
20ft From Death Part 2
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20ft from Death
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New Look
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The Last Post?
Well this might be the last, because I've lost things to talk about, and I think this last thing I'd like to mention is a good note to end on. Let's just say my time here at Florida State came to its perfect synthesis tonight. Well I should mention the bad first, kinda makes it a bit from perfect, but I'd say it's the closest I've ever gotten. Chandler and I are not on very good terms at the moment, think mostly because we've been spending too much time together. It happened with Kyle awhile back, but then it was different, then it was a mutual separation on good terms, he and I just decided not to talk for a good 3 months. With chandler though, it was a fight, both of us equally angered at the other, and who's to say which one of us is right. I beleive I am in the right, but of course so does he, and truthfully no one else can decide that fact. I think it was bound to happen though, I'm just surprised the two of us lasted this long, perhaps if we had made it home things would have been alright, but who knows. I'm sure we'll forgive eachother later, but not yet. Now for the good news. I wrote a post awhile back about this girl I like, and like is a bit of an understatement. I had a crush from the day I met her, even before I knew her name, back in August. I was a bit strategic about getting to know her, I hate to talk about it as if were a war or something, but it kinda was. Getting to know her I began to feel some tension between us, but I thought maybe it was just me being crazy, the past has taught me to check myself and not rush into things in situations like this. Low and behold though tonight, I found she had felt the same. I'll set the scene. She leaves in the morning, so we decided to hangout one last time before she leaves. I just had McDonalds and walked over to her place. We hungout there for awhile trying to figure out what to do, and when we couldnt, we decided to take a walke. it was a beautiful night. So we wandered aimlessly for a little bit, and decided to go back to my room, which she had never seen before, and I had been hyping up for sometime. I rearranged my room last week because we were supposed to put our furniture back in the arrangement it was when we arrived. I really like it this way though, I tweeked my room for a day and its so perfect now. Anyways we came to my place and jsut before we got here a friend called and said he was trying to get a small party going and that he'd call us back in a little bit when it was going. WE got up to my room, and I showed her my cool bubbly lamp and my bass vibrating bed ( I put my sub under my bed so it was vibrate nicely when the bass pumped up) and I showed her this cool program on my computer called milkdrop. It's this plug-in for winamp that makes a visual that is sooo badass. Imagine windows media played visuals x 100, and x100 is no exaggeration. Anyways I put on some music, then put Moby - Everloving on, talking about how that song expanded mine and Chandler's mind one time. He'll know what I'm talking about if you wanna ask him about it. Anyway she said "Can I be completely straight forward and frank with you?" "Of course," I said. Then she proceeded to tell that she had wanted to kiss me for sometime. SEeing the "no fucking way" expression on my face she started to explain why, but I stopped her and said "Me too". Then it happened, and it was goood. Afterwards my roommate came in and we headed out to the party. We hungout there until about 4 in the morning then went back to her place. We met her cool roommate Melissa and our friend Collure there watching Robin Hood, I took one last picture of the three of them and started to the door to leave. Kate followed me outside, small talk the wholeway, until we got outside. Then it was "Well, enough beating around the bush", and again a really, really, really good good-bye kiss. I nearly screamed as I got out of sight. Man what a great time. Like I said, a ner perfect synthesis. Definetly a good note to go out on. Later.
This thought disintegrated at 5:37 AM
Hold Fast To Dreams
Well my creativity is back, with a vengeance. Like a 4 ton wrecking ball to the face. Seems it was out searching for something, well it was looking for what I'm afraid of. This may sound a bit ostentatious, but not a whole lot of things really scare me, but a few hours ago I had a dream that really rattled me. When I woke from it, I had only been asleep for an hour. I lay silent in my bed for a good fifteen minutes panting and palpitating, then got dressed and went outside. A cigarrette couldn't shake it, as I went over every revenant detail, trying to figure out where that came from. I really wanted someone to talk to, but it's difficult to find someone who will really listen to you at 4:30 in the morning, so I walked out to Landis Green, a clear area of grass smack in the middle of campus. The fountain in the center provided a calming sound of rushing water, as I munched on some sweets I had bought on the way and drudged through my memories of it. It gave rise to ideas, quite a bit of them. Two movies I thought of as a result, one based on the dream I had just had, and the other a title (I'm going to throw out the title to people right now, because I've had bad luck with good titles in the past, "Lunatic High") and an idea. The creative juices started flowing, as well as the sugar, and I paced in a wide circle around the fountain, for about an hour, or until campus began to rouse and people started appearing. It was an interesting night.
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Smile Lines
I really love this song.
Met my match today
felt the blood rushing and mingling
curious and an enigmatic thing
now spiders in my dreams
synchronocity weaves like a web when
you were meant to be a meal!
I want you bad
I want you bad
I understand why they say
"High school never ends"
I'll never act my age
but you can tell by the lines in my smile
that I have been around for awhile
So insecuritues
are about as useful as trying
to put the pin back in the grenade!
This isn't coincidence
There's no such thing............
Man. I think I love Incubus more than Chandler loves Offspring. It's just incredible. In any case, news is that I've been hasnging out with this girl I really like, even though I have really no chance with her, the movie adaptation taught me a really good lesson, "You are not who loves you, you are who you love." It's a damn good quote, and while I think she is absolutely gorgeous, it's nice to just be her friend. I'm supposed to get my letter from the film school soon, holy crap I'm nervous. It's like a great fork in the road of my life. Wish me luck.
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